B͞҉ŗeak the̶̢ ͠҉G̵ame

Hey, Im Kevin, Ive been trapped here for 8259 days. I dont know why, but someone is keeping me here. I need someone from the outside. You. Yeah, I know what youre thinking "Whats in it for me?" Im way ahead of you pal, I prepared a list of key features! Character-rich story with focus on humor (Except if we meet Jeff, his humor is catastrophic.) Complete customization of ALL abilities (Just dont remove my speech-ability.) An utterly amazing companion (Yeah, thats me.) A fun game (Just trust me o...