FURNITURE FRIENDS

Class inequality and crippling loneliness got you down? Seek relief in the omnipresent company of Smart n Sentients new Furniture Friends™! (note: As with all sentience-enabled technologies, operation of Furniture Friends™ carries implicit risk of personal or property damage. Smart n Sentience customers, however, may enjoy a risk-free guarantee upon proper usage of our 24/7 Customer Support service.) ----------------------------------------- Thank you for contacting the Smart n Sentients Behavorial Corrections Hotline! Were sorry youre experiencing issues with your Furniture Friends. A custome...