Help! I am REALLY horny!

Have you ever done something really stupid and very shortsighted, while you were horny? Something you would never even consider doing, had it not been for your overwhelming lust? You wake up on a Friday, hornier than you have ever been before, which makes you unable to concentrate on anything else than sex. Sunday is your parents silver wedding anniversary and you have not yet written the anniversary song you promised. Therefore, you have to go on a noble quest to make yourself un-horny, so you can write the song and not yet again disappoint your parents. - Play either as a dick or pussy, who ...