I want a deep fried turkey

You met Rachel at a Star Trek convention where William Shatner is signing autographs. You both bonded over your love of turkey fryers, so you took a chance and asked her out. Your first date was going to be an in-home event. You decided to invite her to your humble abode where you plan to serve her a turkey cooked from a turkey fryer. However, because all the legitimate turkey fryers have been sold out, you bought this janky one from self-proclaimed turkey fryer dealer, Swinston. Equipped with 1 turkey fryer, 1 turkey, and 1 dream, you rush against the clock to finish dinner for your girl. Go ...