The Tale of Treasonous Tom: Part 1

The current King of Dilford in the Land of Pilfered is jolly old King Palaverous. What a putz! You are the widely prophecized Son of Antimony, Lord of Reversals, sent by the Gods themselves as revealed in the holy "Widderchuck" to save the Kingdom. Using whatever means necessary, including weapons of mass distraction, magical heaps of dung, threats, lies, biting sarcasm, dramatic irony, pathos, ethos, and a razor-sharp wit, you must rise from amongst a heap of friggin idiots to claim the throne. There are those who call you...Tom? Ripped from todays headlines (if you consider today to be about...